Here and now, in the beginning, let a new life, a new perspective come to fruition. I'll do myself the kindness and unburden myself here in the hopes that it will prove cathartic. I am floundering and struggling on a daily basis and find that it is getting harder to stay present. My mind (and heart) wander and dream of a place (and person) that is not to be, can never be. There’s no one to tell, there’s no one to share with, no one to bare myself to, to whisper of my shattered dreams, no one to tell about the barbs of pain that wrap not only my body but my soul, the very core of my soul, no one to share the hidden corners with, no one to hold and stand hand in hand and gaze upon the rising sun, or its setting in all its glory. No one to keep me from falling farther, no one to keep me from letting the light escape, no one. Ever will I try to improve myself through research and through meditation in the hopes I'll find peace, or a semblance thereof in this lifetime of yearning and learning. There's a lesson hidden in every lifetime, and it's ours to find.