Evenings are the toughest. The hardest time to stay present, and not fade away. I struggle with the fact that there truly is no one in my life, no one that really cares, and would be deeply touched should something untimely happen to me. I NEED someone, so terribly badly, I am so very afraid to be alone much longer. It is no longer enough, it never was, but I now know that there's no use in waiting anymore. There isn't going to be anyone, ever again. Apparently I'm not worth the trouble or effort. I'm done.